Daboss Mama and Things

As I flipped the pregnancy test over, my hands went numb from anxiety. Taking a deep breath, I looked at myself in the mirror and whispered, It’s okay.Whatever it is – negative or positive- we still have each other. We can always try again, and if this doesn’t work out, we can consider adoption.

Man, I really want this to be positive.

Okay, time to look at the results.

There they were- two pink lines, clear as day. Still, I found myself doing a triple take because I couldn’t believe it. I had always imagined I’d burst into tears like the people in vlogs do when they record their reactions, but I didn’t. Instead, I felt a whirlwind of emotions all at once – excitement, overwhelming joy, and sheer terror.

It worked. It really worked.

I ran to the bedroom, where my husband was still sleeping. Shaking him awake, I said, “Babe, wake up, please! I have to tell you something… You’re going to be a daddy.”

He looked at me, mumbled, “Cool,” and went right back to sleep.

Normally, I might have been a little annoyed, but I understood. He was exhausted, and we had a long drive ahead of us- he needed his rest.

But we were going to have a baby! My head was swimming with excitement- I couldn’t wait to tell our parents. The only trickywas that we were going on vacation with my side of the family, which meant asking my parents to keep it quiet until I reached 12 weeks. That was not going to be easy!

We got up, got ready, and climbed into the car for the four- hour drive. It felt like forever, but the entire way, Mark and I were over-the- moon excited and absolutely terrified. We were finally going to be parents- something we had waited so long for. And now, it was really happening.

I contacted my doctor right away, but since it was the weekend, it took a little while to hear back. When they finally called, they informed me that I needed a blood test to confirm it was a viable pregnancy. That meant once we got back, I had to go in- and figure out how to take time off work without letting them in on the fact I was pregnant.

I really didn’t want to tell anyone besides our parents until I hit 12 weeks, just in case something happened. God , I hoped nothing would happen. But you just never know- especially with this being my first pregnancy, I didn’t know what to expect.

The week with my family came and went. Mom and Dad struggled to keep our little secret, but they did it! It wasn’t easy, but I was so grateful they respected our wishes.

First thing Monday morning, I went to my lab appointment, and it was confirmed- I was indeed pregnant!

Hope you enjoyed my fertility Journey.

XO,

Ashley

Okay, you all read my post from Sunday- I used a friend’s experience, but now I think it’s time to share my own story. It’s nothing fantastic, really, but it’s mine to tell, and only a few people know about it.

It was January of 2021 when my husband looked at me and said,”You wanna try for kids?” At this point, he already knew my answer- I had been waiting for him to say it for a while. I’ve always wanted kids for as long as I can remember, but over the past two years, the urge to be a mom had grown even stronger. Once our friends started sharing and posting their baby announcements, it only got worse.

Those of you who are moms out there probably experienced baby fever- well, ladies, mine was bad. I started hinting left and right, but my hubby wasn’t ready. So, I tried to keep the baby talk to a minimum and let him decide when he was ready. I didn’t want to push him because I knew that, at some point, he would be.

Well, the day finally came- he asked, and I was ready to get going. I jumped him like no other, all excited because, in high school sex ed, they made it sound so easy, right? Like, it only takes once- boom, you’re pregnant.

Well, unfortunately for me, that wasn’t the case. We had fun doing all the “adulting,” but every month, when my period came, I was devastated. Yeah, I had agreed with my hubby that we wouldn’t stress about it- not happening wasn’t a big deal, and if we got pregnant, great. If not, there was always next month. We also agreed that if a year passed with no luck, we would both get checked for fertility.

A year went by. It was January 2022, and we still had no baby. I had spent the past year feeling devastated. With every negative pregnancy test, more questions flooded my mind. What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get pregnant as easily as everyone else? I cried so much that year. More than anything, I just wanted to give my husband a family.

I never wanted to have to seek help for fertility, but there we were- a year later, sitting and waiting in the doctors office. We went through test after testm and each result pointed to something wrong with me. My hubby, on the other hand, had perfect swimmers. In fact, he was an over-producer.

They drew blood- nothing abnormal. Then, the suspected my tubes might be blocked, which meant I needed a test called an HSG. And for any woman out there who has gone through that test, you know- it’s one of the most painful experiences you can have besides childbirth.

After all the testing, we finally got some answers- my follicles weren’t big enough to release eggs. That meant I wasn’t ovulating properly, and the few eggs I was producing weren’t good quality. This led to yet another doctor’s appointment. But at this one, in February, we were starting treatment. I would give myselt a series of shots and time everything around my fertile window, hoping to get pregnant.

For our first round of Letrozole, I had my fingers crossed. We were scheduled to go back in two weeks for ultrasounds to see how the medication was working and determine the best time to try. The first round came and went- nothing. We decided to do a second round- still nothing. At this point, we were getting discouraged. We tried a third round of the same medication, and still, nothing.

After that appointment, I felt even more like it was never going to happen. Not only had the medication failed, but now we had to wait before trying something else. In the meantime, we spent time with friends, trying to distract our selves.

One night, we were out with some of our closest friends, doing our casual game night- chit-chatting, catching up on life, mostly talking about work and how they were settling into life as a family of three. They were over the moon.

Then, the topic of pregnancy came up- how fast it can happen for some people. One of our friends casually said, ” Yeah, I don’t understand how people have trouble getting pregnant. It’s not that hard. We got pregnant right away.”

I instantly felt a knot in my stomach. They had no idea we had been trying for over a year with no luck, we didnt tell anyone to be honest for this exact reason, so I kept my mouth shut. But in my head, I thought, That is not something you should say as you have no clue what other people are going through to get that baby like us.

My hubby and I exchanged a look and quickly changed the subject. When game night was over, we headed home, and I completely broke down. I cried the whole way, apologizing to my hubby for not being able to give him a family yet. We had just found out that the first medication wasn’t working at all, so I was already overwhelmed with emotions.

We started our first round with the new med Clomid and went in for an ultrasound. We ended up getting good news at that appointment- my follicles had gotten a little bigger. Not by much, but enough to show that the medication was working. So, we started injections alongside Clomid and tried again.

A month went by- no baby.

We went for round two, and my hopes started rising again. More good news- my follicles were bigger! We did the process again for another month. Still no baby.

I started to lose hope. Yeah, sure, my follicles were getting bigger, but they weren’t dropping, and I was only producing one good one when we wanting at least three.

We went back to the doctor again, still trying to stay positive but feeling so defeated. We started our third round of clomid- this time, my follicles were a good size, and we got teo strong ones. We went home, did injections, tried for a baby… but when my period came, I was crushed. No baby again.

Devastated but still holding onto hope, we moved into July and prepared for round four of Clomid. At the ultrasound, my follicles looked great- we has three really strong ones. Now, it was all about timing.

This time, we tried a different approach. We relaxed, had fun, and just let things happen, hoping this would be it. Maybe this was our lucky shot- our one in a million chance to finally have the baby we had prayed for.

As the days crept closer to my expected period, I prayed so hard that it wouldn’t come. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take- more treatments, more heartbreak. Work was the last place I wanted to be. I was counting down the days untilvacation with my hubby, our dog, and our family. In fact, my period was supposed to start the day we left.

The days dragged on, but I couldn’t take a test until the first day of my missed period. Two days before, I saw spotting. I always get light spotting before my period, and my heart sank. It’s starting. I’m not pregnant.

But I waited.

That morning, at 5:00 AM- three hours before we were supposed to leave- I got up to use the bathroom. I figured, Now’s the time. First- morning pee is the best for a test.

I unwarpped the little blue wrapper, held it while I peed, and placed it on the counter. This test required a five-minute wait before checking the results.

Let me tell you – those were the longest five minutes of my life. My mind raced. What If this is it? But then, doubt crept in. What if it’s negative? What if we need to do another round? I don’t know if I can handle another negative test.

The timer went off.

I took a deep breath, reached for the test, and flipped it over…

To be continued.

Okay, everyone- sorry I’ve been MIA lately, but here’s the thing: Life gets a little- well, no, it gets a lot – crazy real fast. I’ll be honest, I just haven’t had the time to post anything, let alone sit down and write.

Anyway, today’s topic isn’t a personal experience but rather an experience of a friend. She’s a new mom of baby number three. She’s so used to everyone asking her, How’s the baby doing? How are your other two kids adjustingto having a new sibling? But when I asked her how she was doing, she wasn’t used to that. Instead, she sent me pictures of the new baby with their siblings, who are settling in well as a family of five. However, she still isn’t used to somone checking in and asking about her, besides her husband and inlaws. She forgets how to respond because she’s so used to people asking about the kids.

Why is that? Why do people always ask moms of little ones how the kids are doing first and only then ask about the mom? It should be the other way around– How is mom doing? first, and then, How are the kids? Don’t get me wrong, the kids are important too, but people often forget that the kids are only here because of the parents. And between the two parents, the mom goes through the most– carrying the child, for nine months.

Some moms have morning sickness their entire pregnancy, like my friend did. Some only have it during the first trimester, while others are fortunate enough to avoid it altogether. On top of morning sickness, we not only have to carry this baby to 40 weeks, but we also gain weight (which we may never lose). We get poked with needles so many times– it feels like 7,000 times. As if that’s not enough, we have to pee every hour- somtimes every half-hour. And from the moment we find out we’re pregnant, we stop getting a decent night’s sleep.

And then some of us go through infertility treatments or miscarriages, but you rarely hear anyone talk about those obstacles. Then we have moms who are always tired and grouchy– well, yeah, we’re allowed to be tired , grouch, and pissed off. We’re bringing another human into this world and are happy about being able to do that all while dealing with the hormones that make us grouchy, happy, sad, and well crazy. LOL. But again, some people think it’s a walk in the flipping park. Now, I know I may have skipped some pregnancy side effects, but the biggest one is that we also have to push a watermelon out of our hoo-ha, or have a C-Section whether we like it or not. Yeah, there are drugs to help us out; however, that’s if we get to the hostpital on time to receive them.

Amidst all the mood swings, morning sickness, pokes and prodding, and giving birth, anyone who has experienced all of this would agree that getting the baby is worth it in the end. But then, even though you have the reward, you as the mother have to go through a whole new experience every time called postpartum. Some women are lucky enough to just get a small case of the baby blues; however for my self , it’s a strong case of the baby blues. For others, it’s postpartum depression or anxiety that seems to never go away. But through the pregnancy, the journey of birth, I would do it all over again.

In conclusion, while the journey of motherhood is filled with challenges- from pregnancy to childbirth to postpartum recovery- the joy and love that come with bringing a new life into the world make it all worthwhile. It’s essential to recognize and support mothers, not just by inquiring about their childrem but by genuinely asking how they are doing, even long after the child is born. After all, a mother’s well-being is crucial for the entire family’s health and happiness.

Good evening, everyone!

Today was a day well spent with family. It started off a little chaotic- at least in my opinion- but the hubby would say it was fine. Lol.

We went to the Duluth Sport Show today, and, guys, I totally messed up. I thought the show was from 9 AM to 7 PM, but oh no, opening day was only from 3 PM to 8 PM! I may not have double- checked the time and just assumed… but man, was I embarrassed!😳

Even though I made that mistake, it all worked out. I test – drove a Toyota Sienna- this mama is eventually rocking the mom van, and guess what? I’m excited! I just need to make my final decision on which one I’m going for. Lol. But I have time for that so stay tunned to hear what I decide.

After that, we went to lunch with my parents at Applebee’s walked around the mall, and stopped at Hobby Town beacuse the hubby wanted to check it out- he loved it! Then, we finally made it to the Duluth Sport Show at the correct start time. Lol.

We originally went to the show for cutting boards and utensilsmade out of olive wood- if any woodworkers are out there, you know how beautiful olive wood is. But since the hubby and I have woodworking tools at home, we decided we’d just make our own. Lol.

Instead, I ended up buying two wet bags! I’ve never seen these before, but apparently, they’re for anything wet, are washable, and contain, musty smells if you can’t dry your clothes right away. Up until now, I’ve just used doggy bags for the kids wet